


Stay, just one last time

by Mila (sunflowerspp)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Drama, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance, Sad and Sweet, Two Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:49:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22573549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowerspp/pseuds/Mila
Summary: The only thing Kenma wishes is to have Tetsurou back and now that he has the opportunity is not going to let him go again.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 5
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

Kenma looked at the notification that just appeared on his cellphone: "Anniversary. Tomorrow." He already knew. He didn't even remember why he programmed an annual alert for that, but well, not like it was something that bothered him.

His mood fell when he remembered Tetsurou had to wake up early to go to work and that they would spend, being generous, five hours together. He blocked his cellphone, letting that affect him too much it wasn't a good thing because in the end there was nothing he could do about it.

He continued to edit a video for his channel, he still had a lot of work to do but with every second he was feeling more and more tired.

"Kenma, it's late." He heard his husband's voice behind his back and then received a soft kiss on his left cheek that made him stop looking at the screen and pay attention to the other.

"I'm almost done" he rested his head on Tetsurou's shoulder while he hugged him from behind "I'll go in a moment."

"Alright." The raven kissed him on the lips before turning around to left the room. "I love you." He said opening the door.

"Me too." Kenma answered with a soft smile watching him leave.

Half an hour later he stood up from the chair, confirmed the video was programmed to upload at the correct hour next day and left the room to go to the one he shared with Tetsurou for three years.

He entered slowly because he knew the other fell asleep while trying to wait for him. He changed his clothes for something of thinner fabric and then went straight down the blanket, getting as close as possible to Tetsurou. Minutes later he fell deep into his dreams.

* * *

He woke up the next morning without Tetsurou next to him in the room. He searched in the private bathroom but he wasn't there either.

He searched in the living room, the kitchen, the garden; looked at the clock on his cellphone, it was too early for Tetsurou to be at work. He decided to call him, and the other picked up right away. "Where are you?" He asked taking out a sandwich from the refrigerator that he knew his husband prepared for him before going out and then poured juice in a glass.

"On my way to work." He answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Kenma rolled his eyes, did he forgot which day it was? Or was he playing a really bad prank on him? "I haven't forgotten about what day is today, don't worry." Tetsurou knew him so well sometimes it was scary.

Kenma took a bite of his sandwich. "Then why did you left." Spoke with his mouth full just to annoy the other, Tetsurou hated that.

"Swallow first, thank you." Kenma chuckled. "I left earlier to go out from work early, that way I can spend more time with you." The sweet tone he used to say that words made Kenma's heart accelerate.

"You should've woke me up." He tried to hide the happiness in his voice, it didn't work too well.

"I tried, but you didn't want to wake up, you were too tired last night. Try to not overwork yourself that much." He always was worrying a lot for him, Kenma thought it was too unfair making him feel that way so he took what Tetsurou said in mind.

"I'm sorry, I'll try." He remembered Tetsurou was at work and rushed to end the call. "I'll see you in a while then." Thinking about that made a smile appear on his face. "Have a nice day, I love you." Kenma wasn't usually the first one to say it and noticed the surprised of his husband through the phone.

"I love you too." It was easy to hear how he was talking with a smile on his face, only imagining it made Kenma feel more in love.

* * *

He didn't do a lot that day. Recorded a video to pass the time and played some videogames for a while but he wasn't actually entertained. He wanted to be with Tetsurou, he missed him so much and wanted to spend their anniversary with him; maybe go to a nice restaurant although Kenma wasn't a fan of elegant dates or they could simply go out together a little, go to a cafe or an ice cream shop, buy their favourite to go and then go for a walk, stop by a beautiful store, which didn't have an actual theme but that Tetsurou always was talking about, and buy him a cute gift. Yes, he definitely liked the second idea better.

Kenma turned off the console and stood up to change his clothes for some beautiful ones, he wanted to wear something the other would like. For Kenma, were just a pair of black pants with a baggy shirt tucked in, but Tetsurou loved to see him like that; perhaps because it was a big change compared to what he wore daily. He also fixed his hair, now that it was longer he always put it in a bun, but decided to just let it down this time.

He sat on the couch in the living room, and now what? He was excited to celebrate their anniversary, so much he wasn't feeling like being on his phone. Every year it was like that and even though Kenma never was someone who liked parties or celebrations, when Tetsurou was involved he couldn't help but smile and let his heart flutter.

He lay down on the couch and started to watch social media to kill the time, but actually, he was more interested in receiving Tetsurou's call telling him he was coming home.

It didn't happen, well, at least not directly to his cellphone. The telephone started to ring, Kenma sat immediately and almost jumped off the couch to grab the device. It wasn't common but sometimes Tetsurou called directly to the house.

"Hello." The excitement in his voice was impossible to control.

"Good evening, is the Kozume residence?" A young man's voice totally different from the one he was expecting, killed his excitement. Surely it was a promo for an unimportant thing he didn't care about.

"Yes, this is Kozume Kenma." He said with, now, a bored tone. He hated that kind of calls with a passion.

"We are calling from the General Hospital." Kenma frowned, his stomach now in a knot. "I'm sorry to inform you Kozume Tetsurou has died." He stayed silent, static, for some seconds he felt absolutely nothing until he reacted. His breath became faster and his eyes started to get full of tears.

"What?" His voice was broken, it had to be a lie.

"He got involved in a multiple car crash twenty minutes ago, we did what we could but he died in the way and-" he hung up, he couldn't hear more, he didn't want to hear more.

With uncontrollable tears running down his cheeks, he left his house as fast as he could and took the first taxi he saw in the street. Kenma was shaking, his head hurt, his chest too and he felt cold.

He arrived at the place and quickly paid the driver. Without taking the change, he left the car and entered the building.

With a desperate voice, he asked the receptionist to see Tetsurou. One of the nurses took him to one of the hospital rooms and when Kenma saw him inside, he knew every single thing he was living was real.

This time he didn't run. He approached the bed delicately, the nurse tried to put a chair for him next to Tetsurou but Kenma was already sat on the bed beside him, taking his hand.

The nurse left, knowing it was better to give them time alone.

"Please... Tell me this is-" he tried to gain a little bit of air. "one of your stupid pranks." Kenma knew it wasn't, he knew what was happening but he wasn't accepting it, he didn't want it. He wanted the love of his life to open his eyes and smile to him the same way he did when was playing a prank on him or when he annoyed Kenma on purpose.

"Please don't leave me." He kissed the now cold hand of Tetsurou and caressed with his thumb the ring that was on it. "I can't do this alone." He had little to no strength to talk and he felt weaker for not getting any response. "I love you so much." He lay next to him, as close as he could and closed his eyes shut hard, hoping everything was only a bad dream.


	2. Chapter 2

Four years had passed since Tetsurou had the fatal accident and the only reason why Kenma didn't collapse entirely was that he knew Tetsurou wouldn't like to see him broken.

He made his biggest efforts every day. He got used to doing most of the things the other was in charge of, although living alone made them easier; he only had to wash, hang and fold his clothes, wash the dishes he used, make only one side of the bed, buy food only for him. Yes, it was certainly easier.

Not really.

Kenma always hated doing those things, but at least when Tetsurou was there he helped and even things would become fun. Now it was silent, boring and most of the time, sad. 

His parents said he could return to live with them and he tried, however, it felt weird. It was the house where he grew up and even though it had a familiar feeling, he didn't think of it as his home anymore. That's why he decided to go back to his house, even without the other there, everything felt and looked so natural he prefered to stay.

His former teammates visited him from time to time, Shouyou, Keiji and Koutarou too. During those four years, they never stopped supporting him, Kenma was immensely thankful because he knew for them it was hard too.

Regarding his job, he didn't upload any video for almost a year. He never was someone who liked to fake something he wasn't feeling. He wouldn't sit down and do a live stream for three hours acting like he wasn't going to start crying at any moment.

When he went on hiatus he left a little message on his social media saying he lost someone really important to him and asking for his fans comprehension; he didn't give more details, but of course his followers didn't last long to start theorizing and finally they realized everything when Kenma came back. 

At the start, they didn't notice anything but the theory of Tetsurou being dead started to make sense in the mind of everyone when the raven didn't enter the room at the middle of the stream to give Kenma a cup of hot chocolate or coffee, or when he stopped showing up when Kenma was live streaming at two am to make him go to sleep, or when he never showed again while Kenma was really concentrated on a videogame to scare him and make him lose. In addition to that, Kenma never told them new things he did with Tetsurou and now it was less common for him to postpone a stream or not upload a video due to going out.

Tetsurou's death was confirmed when a group of people spammed on the stream chat asking for Tetsurou and others less discrete asked directly if he was the one who died; Kenma obviously read them, and his eyes got full of tears and before he could start crying in front of the camera he ended the stream and took three months to come back. After that, there were no more incidents regarding that topic.

It was already eight pm when Kenma decided he didn't want to record, he would do it tomorrow and then edit the video at night; at that moment he prefered to sit on the couch playing for a few hours, but knowing himself he knew it was going to be until morning.

Minutes later the sound of his phone's alarm filled the room, he looked at the device, confused "Water the plants". He frowned, he had already done it last night. He wasn't sure if water them at night was a good idea, but Tetsurou never said it was and they were still alive so now it was part of his routine.

Maybe he got confused and it was time to water them. He sighed, stood up to go for some water and then went out to his backyard. For his surprise, three of the plants where dry, almost dead. He stayed there, looking at them confused and concerned, he saw the plants almost every day, it was impossible for them to be so dry from one day to another. He felt a strong déjà-vu and sat on the ground in front of the pots, he couldn't remember why he felt like he already lived that moment and a headache was starting to appear.

"Kenma, my plants are dying." A conversation he had with Tetsurou suddenly came to his mind. "You spend more time here than me, please water them at least twice a week. I don't think these will survive, I have to get new ones." He recalled his voice, his expression, the clothes he wore that day and once more he felt guilty for letting Tetsurou's plants die. He watered them hoping they'd survive and mentally said sorry to his husband.

Now he didn't felt like playing, he prefered to turn off the console and go to sleep.

* * *

Kenma wasn't particularly a fan of mornings and it wasn't like he hated them either, but this one was without a doubt the scariest morning he had ever had. The three dry plants were not in their pots anymore, instead, they were into a trash bag.

Someone had entered his house and that was giving him big anxiety.

He texted Shouyou but he had no way to go to his house, he knew Keiji and Koutarou weren't in the city so with his legs shaking and his heart running he checked the house, closing and securing all the doors and windows.

He stayed alert the rest of the day, but nothing weird happened and he got to calm down a little, only a little. Then he focused his energy on edit one of his videos to upload it the next morning, it was enough to distract him for a couple of hours until his phone emitted a sound. Kenma looked at the notification that just appeared on his cellphone: "Anniversary. Tomorrow." He read it again and again, he was pretty sure it wasn't that time of the year but the date on his cellphone told him the opposite.

The door of the room opened, he felt a shiver going through his spine. He was scared, someone was inside his house.

"Kenma, it's late." He heard his husband's voice behind him and made him freeze on the spot, his fear increased and now he was afraid of turning around. Then, he felt a kiss on his cheek. "Is everything okay?"

He turned around quickly, bumping his forehead against Tetsurou's. The two reacted to the heavy blow by caressing where it hurt, trying to feel better.

The tall man stared at him with his hand still on his forehead, frowning.

"What... What are you doing here?" He looked at him up and down, it was a dream, right? It had to be, but the pain on his head was proof of everything being real.

"I came to see what you were doing, it's really late. Sorry if I scared you." He smiled apologetically and it was there when Kenma realized Tetsurou was back. He got up from the chair and hugged him tightly, he couldn't help but start sobbing, filling the other man's shirt with tears. "What's wrong!?" To be fair, it was normal for him to be exalted and confused.

"I missed you so much." He held tighter on to the other, feeling that if he let go Tetsurou would disappear again.

"I only went to work." Kenma didn't answer, how much he was crying didn't let him articulate. "Wanna go to bed? It's better if we rest." Tetsurou's tone of voice was so sweet that, while it soothed Kenma's heart, it brought him even more tears.

"Mmhm." He nodded but didn't let go of the hug. Tetsurou sighed with a smile and lifted him off the floor to walk into their room.

Kenma only separated from his husband to change his clothes, but when he lied on the bed he didn't let him go for a second. Tetsurou kept mentally questioning Kenma's sudden change of behaviour and even though watching him cry broke his heart he prefered not to insist on knowing what was going on.

Before falling asleep, Kenma programmed several alarms for the next morning, he had the idea that if he could wake up before Tetsurou to stop him from going to work early, then maybe he could stop him from dying again.

* * *

He woke up with the sound of the second alarm and Tetsurou wasn't on the bed with him anymore. His heart began to beat fast and the fear that everything from last night was a dream filled him.

He soon went out of the room and almost ran to the kitchen where he found Tetsurou preparing him a sandwich and already dressed to leave.

"Good morning," a warm smile beautifully decorating his face. "do you feel better?" Kenma nodded giving him a good morning hug.

"Don't leave already." He asked tightening the contact. "Please."

"If I leave now I could be here earlier this evening." Kenma raised his head and denied looking into his eyes.

"It doesn't matter, we don't have to spend too much time together today, a few hours is more than enough." His sight started to become foggy, he didn't plan to use his tears to convince him, but it was accidentally working.

"Are you sure?" Kenma nodded fast with his head. "Then I'm staying here for a little more."

And so it was, even though they were together for only two hours, from five to seven am, Kenma treasured them as if they were the most important moments of his life and if he thought about it, they were; after all, it was his opportunity to bring Tetsurou back.

For his part, Tetsurou didn't insist too much on knowing about his sudden and extreme change of attitude, knowing that if Kenma didn't talk to him about it, it was because he didn't feel ready yet and he'd always be there to wait for it.

* * *

"Take care and call me when you get to work, okay?" The tallest one nodded, still confused about his behaviour but maybe Kenma was feeling a little overwhelmed for their anniversary, maybe he was preparing something or just the meaning of that day made him emotional. It was strange, but it could happen.

Before the car started to move Kenma ran over to him and kissed him gently on the lips. "Have a nice day, I love you." Tetsurou smiled, wanting to hold the other one tightly and not let go all day, unfortunately, he couldn't, but he would focus on him and only him when he returned from work. "Ah, by the way, can you call me before you leave work?" the older man nodded and now he could move the car to go.

The hours passed and the anxiety in Kenma's stomach kept growing, he couldn't even concentrate on watching social media anymore. He looked at the phone all the time and tapped his fingertips on the couch.

He was hoping for everything to go well so he was already dressed to tell Tetsurou to go for a walk and do everything he planned before he died, supposedly. 

On the subject, the huge mountain of emotions he was carrying hadn't really made him question what was happening or why it was happening, let alone how it was happening, but he knew it was real. He could feel it.

"Call me." He said for the fourth time in ten minutes, looking at his cellphone. What if Tetsurou died again? He once heard that "if it's your day to die, you're going to die no matter what"? Possibly his efforts would be useless, the phone would ring again and he would have to see Tetsurou dead, for the second time, on his anniversary. Could there be anything worse?

He jumped in his place when the sound of the telephone filled the room. He looked at it for a few seconds in fear before taking a deep breath and answer. Why would he call him directly at the house? If it truly was Tetsurou, the universe was mocking Kenma's fear of being called by the hospital. 

He said nothing, the words not coming from his throat.

"Kenma?" his husband's voice made him almost start crying, again. He smiled quietly and sat down on the couch feeling the anxiety leave his stomach.

"Tetsurou?" He joked, feeling like showing his happiness at hearing him.

The said chuckled. "I'm getting off work now, I'm walking to the car."

"Come carefully." The paranoia would not leave him, until Tetsurou was inside the house he wouldn't be at ease.

"You were acting weird today." He got tensed up on the couch, didn't want an interrogation. "Too excited about 'just another year'?" The older one imitated his voice and the words he once said as they argued about anniversary celebrations. He rolled his eyes at it, not really bothered.

"I just want you to get home safely." 

"Kenma, I know how to drive." He heard the car door open and close through the phone.

"You know, a lot of people out there don't." He sighed, feeling the anxiety again filling his stomach. "I'm sorry, I know I'm strange today. I feel like I want to protect you from everything and everyone and I don't really understand that either." He felt his cheeks somewhat warm. "Just promise me you'll be extra careful."

"I promise I'll be extra extra careful." He emphasized the second extra, in an attempt to calm the other down, it worked. Well, kinda.

Kenma was tense for another thirty minutes, usually by car Tetsurou took half that time. 

He had bitten his lips so badly that he now had small wounds on them, but that was what mattered the least to him. 

He kept looking at the door because he wanted to see it open with Tetsurou appearing behind it, smiling at him.

A few more minutes passed and he finally heard some keys on the other side of the dark wood and then a tall figure entering the house. "You took your time." He wasn't really complaining, his tone reflected pure joy that he wouldn't even bother to hide.

"I came with extra extra care, remember?" Tetsurou reached out to him to kiss him deeply, showing him how much he missed him and letting Kenma know that he loved him too much, and without knowing, reassuring him that it was all real. "What about your clothes?" he asked, leaving small kisses on his cheeks and generating a pinkish tone on them.

"I thought that" a short kiss on his lips interrupted him, he smiled after that. "We could go for a walk, have a coffee maybe?"

"Of course, sweetheart." Kenma was embarrassed by the nickname and looked disgustedly at the other who laughed at his reaction. 

"Don't do that again." He shook his head and went on with his idea. "We can go to the park near there, where they sell my favourite coffee-"

"I thought my coffee was your favourite." He sounded falsely offended, Kenma, again, rolled his eyes. "Where they sell my second favourite coffee" Corrected. "and go to that store you like." Tetsurou's eyes looked at him with total attention.

"Are we going?" The youngest couldn't understand why he was so excited to go there, but he was more than happy to see him happy.

"I'll buy you something from there." He said as if it was nothing. Tetsurou held him tightly, lifting him off the ground. Seriously, sometimes he looked like a little puppy, Kenma's heart softened every time he looked at him with his glowing eyes and a completely innocent, excited smile, making him think there wasn't a single bad thing in the world. But Kenma knew very well that it didn't work quite like that.

As agreed, they went to the café first and bought to go. Tetsurou liked slushies, he wasn't good at drinking hot things, and Kenma didn't care if it was cold or hot as long as he liked the taste, but since it was already night, and it was cold, he decided to help himself buying a vanilla cappuccino. His husband paid for everything, saying that if Kenma was going to buy him a gift in that store then he would pay for the rest of the things. Things that actually meant the coffee because Kenma had nothing else to ask for.

In the store, Tetsurou looked everywhere, there were all kinds of varieties there, except for food and clothes. Kenma went after him all the time, watching as he sometimes took something, watched it, turned it over, and left it in its place; if it was with someone else he'd be stressed out that they were not choosing anything, but he had always liked when Tetsurou was focused on something and at this point, he even found it adorable that he didn't stop analyzing anything that caught his attention.

"I like this one!" He turned around showing a medium-sized plushie, a cat one. Obviously, that's how original he was.

"A plushie." Kenma said looking up from the stuffed animal into the other's eyes.

"He looks just like you!" He rolled his eyes. "Small, huggable, soft and even looks lazy." Kenma hit him on the shoulder without any strength after that last one.

"If it makes you happy, it's yours." He wouldn't accept aloud that he liked Tetsurou choosing a gift with him in mind, but he knew that he had already noticed.

They went together to pay for it. Tetsurou didn't stop smiling for a second after buying it. 

"You were never a fan of stuffed animals." He commented as he held his hand walking on the sidewalk.

"No, but I'm a fan of you." Kenma looked at him with a mocking smile, hoping that the other would be ashamed of himself.

"You're too corny." Tetsurou's cheeks were red, he always reacted like that after saying some cheesy thing. "That's why I love you." It was his turn to fight back, he knew that would make his blush worse.

* * *

They came home at eleven pm. As Tetsurou's request they would watch a movie, but Kenma knew how tired the other was and how quickly he would fall asleep on the couch. Anyway, he accepted and there they were, watching a really stupid romantic comedy that who knows why his husband had decided to buy.

"Kenma." 

"Hmm?" 

"This movie is stupid and cheesy." He said, and then yawned, a small laugh escaped from the Kenma's lips. 

"Do you want us to go to sleep?" the raven nodded, standing up from the furniture to go with his husband to the room. 

Kenma's heart was so happy to have Tetsurou back, to be able to continue seeing him every day, that he broke down again in tears as he watched him put on his pyjamas.

"Are you crying again?" Tetsurou sighed, looking at him tenderly, approached him to kiss him slowly and let him know everything was alright. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? I'm really worried." Kenma shook his head, looking down to hide a pout on his lips. He wasn't going to tell him, he wasn't going to increase a problem he could carry on his back alone.

"I want to go to... sleep." With his little hand, he took his husband's to guide him to bed, he followed without saying anything else. "Hug me, please?" Kenma's large golden eyes saw the smaller of Tetsurou, analyzed his features, how much he had grown and changed since he had met him. He wasn't sure why, but the first time he played volleyball with him came to his mind, the first time they played together in high school and the last time they played at nationals in Tetsurou's senior year.

He remembered their first kiss, how he was the one who had to take the first step because Tetsurou's brain kept short-circuiting when he knew that Kenma corresponded to his feelings. He remembered the time they started to live together, the many arguments they had because of the number of dirty dishes that appeared in the kitchen or because of the clothes that they forgot to fold and stayed bulging in the basket. The time Tetsurou took him to a strange and elegant restaurant, then to a large and beautiful park, and then knelt down and asked him to stay together forever.

Forever.

It was a lie.

Kenma squeezed the strong hand of his husband, who was about to go to sleep. "Tetsu, thank you." He separated from the hug to look him in the eye once more.

"Why?" he asked, frowning in confusion.

"For choosing me and preferring me always." He smiled at him, trying not to cry again. 

"You don't have to thank me for that, Kenma." He began to fill his face with kisses as he had done a few hours earlier, relieving some of the pressure on his chest and making it easy for him to breathe again. "You will always be my only choice in everything."

Kenma pressed himself against Tetsurou's chest with a smile that if the other could see, he would know that it didn't reflect happiness but was one to give himself strength. 

"Good night Kenma." He felt him caressing his long hair and his eyes began to close slowly. 

"Good night, Tetsu."

* * *

The next morning, Kenma woke up to see that he was alone in the house, the plants weren't in the trash and they weren't dry either, the date on his cellphone was not a day after his anniversary.

He hugged a plushie of a cat. "It actually reminds me more of you." He muttered as he went back to sleep, not wanting to go and fold his clothes.


End file.
